Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
zippers are such a cool invention
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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