People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
