i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
