I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
