Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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