his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
