She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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