Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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