this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
