I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
