i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
