you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
