Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
In America we eat man semen.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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