White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize