I wanna bring you to show and tell
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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