paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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