i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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