Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
