Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
