I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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