Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
