Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
