I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
