go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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