You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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