I'm really into asian looking animals
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
