Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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