Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
