We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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