Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we should paint friendship bongs
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
