I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize