thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
