I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize