when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
