i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
