Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
