Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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