Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize