My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Still dying that you shit outside
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
