I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We need to get me chipped asap
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize