I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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