I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
