Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
