walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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