there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
