Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
