So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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