Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
