Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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