Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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