Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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