Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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