im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
