Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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