Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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