You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
