I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
