saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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