Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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