You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize