i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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