Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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