Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
