Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
