I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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