So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
