im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize