I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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