I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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