i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
