i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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