I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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