Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize